Most of us view gratitude as something to express every once in a while, such as during a holiday like Thanksgiving or when something particularly good happens to us. But gratitude can be much more than that. Rather than an occasional moment of appreciation, it can be a daily perspective that keeps us grounded and helps us deal with life’s challenges. And it’s something you can easily start right now.

Tad Hupfer, LMSW, is an outpatient therapist with Family & Children’s Services who specializes in working with seniors. Every Wednesday, he provides free counseling at the Community Center to people age 65-plus. While gratitude is something he often discusses with his older adult clients, it’s something that can benefit people of any age.

Here’s how Tad says we can approach the concept of gratitude in a way that brings real change to our lives.

Expand your idea of what gratitude can be. Gratitude has a strong connection to mindfulness, the practice of paying closer attention to our senses and thoughts. When we do this, we can go beyond the big things we’re typically grateful for and find much more every day to bring us happiness – even if it’s simply the taste of an orange or the sight of a clear blue sky. “Gratitude is more than just an acknowledgment of what you appreciate in life, like family, friends or good health,” Tad says. “It’s a consistent mindset that allows us to be present in the moment, feel the support of those in our lives, or just appreciate the small details the world has that can give us sparks of joy.”

If you’re feeling “stuck” in negative thoughts, use gratitude as a way forward. Our minds have a bias toward negative thinking – we dwell on the bad things. Using a mindful gratitude approach, we can take a moment to recognize that we’re having these thoughts and then draw our attention to things that bring us peace. “When dealing with a trauma like losing a loved one, or even just having every little thing go wrong for us in a day, our minds will, of course, focus on this as the most pressing issue,” Tad says. “I use gratitude and mindfulness practices with clients who are stuck in these thoughts for a long period, particularly when it begins to interfere with their daily lives – this practice can help us better appreciate what we have.”

Start with a simple “reset” of your focus to try gratitude today. Gratitude is not a complicated task – it’s something you can begin with a small exercise. “One practice that I use is what I call active mindfulness,” Tad says. “I literally reset my focus and thoughts in my mind, and I tell myself to acknowledge my surroundings and find the beauty in them. Looking at nature, the architecture of a building I am in, seeing others smiling and enjoying life … This helps me see that life is more than what I am struggling with. It helps me pull out of those sad thoughts and instead focus on the now.”

Express gratitude to another person to lift both of you up. Acts of kindness and appreciation bring happiness to others while helping draw your own attention to the joy that person brings to you. “One of the simplest yet most effective things you can do is small random acts of kindness,” Tad says. “When you tell someone ‘I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you and am thankful to know you,’ it can make a person’s day, or even be the thing that pulls them from a very dark place. When we practice this, it has a dual purpose: we are not only helping boost other people’s spirits, it can also help us by showing how simple positivity can change lives.”

Here are a few other small ways to work gratitude into your daily life:

• End your day with three good things. Before bed, name three things that went well today, even small ones like a good cup of coffee or a phone call with a friend.
• Slow down for one bite or sip. Pick one moment during a meal to really pay attention: the warmth of your tea, the crunch of an apple, the smell of fresh bread.
• Link gratitude to something you already do. Choose a daily routine, such as brushing your teeth or waiting for the coffee to brew, and use it as a cue to think of one thing you’re thankful for.
• Revisit a happy memory. Look through an old photo, a letter, or a keepsake and take a few minutes to remember the people and moments connected to it.

If you are age 65 or older and want to schedule a Wednesday counseling appointment with Tad Hupfer, contact Family & Children’s Services at 989-631-5390. No referral is needed, the appointment is free, and counseling takes place in a private room at the Community Center.

If you are under 65 and would like to find a counselor near you, visit the MI Hope Portal.

Whether you’re working through grief, navigating a major life transition, managing anxiety, or just want someone to talk to, we encourage you to take advantage of these valuable community resources.